The day in a life of a Goddess - Fiction.. well, sorta.

The day in the life of a Goddess, not a small thing, and I've been known to be one of the less active deities.

So, anyways, here I was, dreaming of sweet little angels and hot demi-gods, when this annoying little sound penetrates my subconscious. Who would dare to disturb the rest of a Goddess? I mean really.. didn't they know I could earth quake their ass into the next continent? Prying my eyes open, I turned to realize my soothing, birds chirping in the morning alarm clock, had been switched by a mechanism from hades itself. The thing whined and chirped even as I threw atleast three good god-bolts at it. Finally, laying broken on it's side, it decided to give up the battle. Alas, though, the damage had been done.

I was up.

Pulling myself up, I found my silken cloud sheets had twisted about my feet, dissipitating into an ugly mess of snakes and gorgons that fell in a heap at the foot of my bed. Groggily, I blinked my eyes, trying to center myself.

Ugh, Phobo's hadn't even crested the horizon yet, what was I doing up so early? Bleerily I scouted for my clothes, bypassing the food stained toga's for a clean pair of jeans and t-shirt. This would have to do, I told myself, stumbling into the bathroom before the demi-gods of the Temple awoke.

As I looked into the mirror, scented water ran into the basin of my sink, and my eyes befell the glorious perfection that was my hair.

Crap.

You never see Aphrodite having bad hair days, so why was it I was stuck for a good fifteen minutes just brushing? Maybe I should cut it off, I mused, checking my teeth before a sound caught my attention.

Like the hounds of hades, the pitter patter crescendo'd through out the Temple halls, walls shook with the magnitude of what passed, and old single woman clutched their toy-poodles tightly to their chest in fear. Yes, I smiled with pride, for everywhere I was, people were reminded of the powerful little minions I wielded with a tight, military style regimen.
Well, that's what they thought atleast. I preferred fiction to liven my day.
Turning, I only had time enough to brace myself as the two demi-gods of destruction entered the Temple's bathroom.

The first born, daughter, twin to my soul. A Demi-Goddess of Destruction in the most covert way. She could destroy your reservations with a single bat of those long lashes, tear down your walls of denial with a few uttered words. Her reign when she reached full God-hood would be memorable.

I would hopefully be retired and living in a God-assisted community by then.

The second born, son, key to my heart. He was Chaos in the most literal sense. Only eighteen months old, and already he had fell major cities (of blocks) and destroyed countless treasures (like my new 42" plasma TV... fried, because of a misplaced cup of apple juice).
They swarmed in and around me, and in a flash of light and sound, I scooped up my beloved goons, fed them the marshmallow goodness that was kid-ambrosia (twice the sugar) and piled them into my Chariot.

Cripes, my Chariot!

I stood before what had once been a great vehicle of heavenly procession. It was to be driven by six road-hungry horses. detail paint along the wheels and hood. What was before me was a travesty of the heavens. Two horses, one sway backed and glassy eyed, stood tethered to the behoumeth that was my chariot. Though it's size was impressive, the wheels spun from being unbalanced, as though to mock me and mine. I could not stand and gape, but pushed my minions into the contraption, sitting for another fifteen minutes as my great steeds stretched and warmed their tired, aging muscles.

We were off!

While Phobos finally crested the hills of our blessed valley, I dropped the minions off at minion-day care. Where all little demi-gods learn to be great citizens of our pantheon.
My work began as it usually did. Performing miracles, fullfilling wishes, damming the unfaithful. Want your bills trimmed down? Sure! Need help with your kids? I'm here to help. Revenge on ye old boyfriend. I'd love to! (Looks at Boss, backtracks) Hmm, maybe I should refer you to my sister.

My followers adored me, worshiped me, threw petals at my feet every time I went to copy a document. Acolytes sang praises and let presents of untold wealth pile at my desk for the remainder of the day. Too bad it all ended at Five.

Tearing myself from the work that defined me, I floated to my chariot, immune now to the splitting paint along the side, or the suspicios key scratch against the inside. Work always left me refreshed, and mobile, and ready to face another day.

(Who was I kidding?)

Picking up my little minions, was another job in itself. You see, at the end of each day, there is a fine dance that Goddess and Minion Daycare workers.

"Your son destroyed another city again, and he keeps making the younger gods sit under neath him. "
"So? " Wasn't he supposed to be learning leadership skills?
"Underneath him, as in, he sits ON them. "
"Oh..."

"Your daughter on the other hand, was wonderful. Honestly Ma'am we don't know how such a sweet little thing could be rela...-- " I watched the worker pause, then rethink.

Somehow the conversation turned back to my son.

Minutes dragged into years, but I stood strong, standing regal in the face of my opposition. In the end, they bowed their heads to the greatness that was I.

"So, as agreed, we'll have councilling sessions next week?"

"Fine.." I grumbled.

Whisking my under-estimated minions back into the Chariot, we flew (sputtered) home. I decided tonight, I would have the messangers delivery our evening ambrosia. After all, it's not like I had to worry about my figure. We goddesses never gain weight! It was a blasphemy to even think of such a thing. Luckily, the Temple had been deserted of followers that evening, leavin moi alone with my rumalations and hell-ment demi's. I wondered, as for the tenth time I put the Ancient Tomes of Romance back onto their shelf, why I destined to a life of mediocrity? Where was the big stuff? Why wasn't I the one throwing thunder bolts? Why wasn't Hephaestus running to my aid to fix my car? What did Aphrodite got that I didn't? And when was Ares going to finally give me back the negligee set he borrowed three nights ago? Did I forget to order ranch sauce with my chicken?

After my deep, chocolate covered soul searching, the minions finally fell into an exhausted sleep, dreaming of destroying worlds and universes, smiles on their perfect little mouths. Me? I fell into the feathered-goodness that was my bed of beds. Phobo's had called it quits hours ago, and my Temple had been attended to by all those hundreds of adoring worshippers. Not a speck out of place, not a book on the floor, or dishes unwashed. The universe was at peace, because, I was at peace. The world sighed.

Ahh
Bliss.

That's when I finally woke up.

Weekend

I did absolutetly nothing this weekend. Yep, sat on my ass and got a migraine. If that's possible. I think it's from the amount of pepsi I drink, lord knows my widening seat has seen enough of those yummy liquid carbs in a bottle. Ok.. so I did laundry. and redid laundry when everything white came out blue. I've just been so tired latetly. I go to bed early, get up at a decent hour, and I'm still exhausted. Michael got pink eye again. I freaked. Lysol everywhere, plus a script called in sunday. I did visit my sister, ate some burger king.

I should own stock in fast food.

Blech. Gag

My mother and sister are still arguing. This time because my sister spends her money on tanning 4 days a week. Must be fun to be able to tan. Meanwhile I remain the white whale all year long. Oh well. Doesn't pay to be jealous of my sister. Nope.

I'm still stuck on what picture I want to draw next.

Sighs

Well, another day. My eye's were red as tomato's the past two days, so I took time off to go to the eye doctor. To be told "Looks like your eyes are irritated". Woo! Give the man a Doctorate!
I talked to my mom the other day. She and Antonette (mah sister) had another arguement (big surprise)

What get's me, is that my sister has the audicity to feel she is justified in slapping my mother like a five year old. Yelling at her, telling her she's the cause of everyone's problems, and then telling her to leave. I seriously question the blood relation my sister and I have, because had it been me, I would not find it necessary to belittle the woman who is paying your rent and utility bills. The woman who gave herself hernia's helping you to take care of your three kids, doing your children's laundry, helping with the meals and school. My sister, however, feels the need to hold a man who is consistant with his degrading opinion of my sister and her lifestyle; to stay up at all hours of the night and sleep when your kids are running rampant or getting off the bus. To scream that she's the only one doing anything in that house.

The last part kills me.

Think about it, all you single parents of the world.

Are you NOT the only person doing those things?

After all, it's her 3 kids she's picking up after. It's her 3 kids she's making dinner for. It's her 3 kids making a mess in the living room. It's her 3 kids she's doing laundry for. Last time I checked, My mom stopped raising kids around six years ago. Well, most of us anyways.

Meanwhile, I hunt for clothes at once a year when Uncle Sam pays me back for working all year. While my sister, who hasn't worked in three years, is shopping every other day at Aeropostle.

Does anyone see a problem here!!!!

Another article of note

If you know me, and maybe you do, and maybe you don't, you know I love to balance a budget.
Any kind of budget. I will tackle it with glee. I am not a math geek, and I hate algebra, but give me a shopping list and a spending limit and I will go 'HALLEJUHAH! "

I guess it stems from growing up with mom who had to learn to stretch her budget for four kids. When you grow without or almost without, you learn the comforting presence of a paid bill is almost better than sex. (ALMOST now don't go overboard!)

I'm also a Taurus, which means I love all types of beautiful things. Beautiful things to wear, beautiful things to look at, (beautiful things to EAT!). So, I know, to get what I want, I need to juggle alot. Especially on a tight budget and two kids. At this juncture in my life, I'm still young, but I've accumalated small things that mean alot. A nice kitchen table, nice curtains, nice furniture (that needs to be cleaned) and a nice car. Ok, their not tricked out, or uber-expensive. Actually alot came from close-out stores and dollar general's, but they are visually appealing to me. I still have alot to go before my house doesn't look so hodge-podge, but what is there, I know I bought it, and it's mine free and clear.

So, anyways, onto my point. Here's a good article about the urban myths of finance. Something every budget-juggling mom should know!

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/SavingandDebt/ConsumerActionGuide/10FinancialUrbanLegends.aspx

Updates

Well I finally tugged my car out of the snow, and finished my income tax shopping. I got a new desk chair, new curtains, new coat. All my bills are paid and michael's bed should be delivered today. A couple downsides? Haven't had much time to talk to michael, but hoping I can make up for it in e-mails. Chuck has been nice in helping with putting up the new shades, fixing stuff at the house, pushing my car out of snow ditches. I purchased a new desk at Staples which I LOVE but it couldn't fit in my car, so now it's sitting there until I find a way to pick it up. I almost had a caniption fit when the delivery man came by my house today at 9:30am.. he said he would be there EARLY AFTERNOON and Chuck went to the house so he would be there for it. The guy almost didn't want to come back, but I immediately got on the phone and started questioning the logic of that (hence stern voice).

I got my copy of the "The Dream Hunter" book by Sherilyn Kenyon this weekend too. Loved the book, main reason I got it was to try to guess at the future heroine of the character Acheron who has a continuous role in all the book's thus far. You'd have to read the other books of the series to see what I mean. Her site and book list is one of the links on the site.

Now, I'm stuck as to the next picture I want to draw. Any ideas?

Winter Woes

8 inches of sleet and ice outside, and I'm biting my nails hoping I don't get fired because I can't get out of my drive way. Where are my tax dollars when I need them??

My Weekend

So this weekend had some pluses and some minuses. The plus? Michael came to visit me! We spent Saturday at the mall, and Sunday at home. Sunday was a bummer because the entire night I had a killer migraine. Retired to bed early around 8:30am. Before you asked, nothing happened. We shared some light kissing and cuddling on the couch. That was it. The kids made sure of that.

The minus? My refund did not come in like it should have. Not only did I not have money for a babysitter or going out, but my account got over-drafted and I was ducking my landlord. Not pretty! I am making a new art project, winter-oriented for a new art community I joined through elfwood. In another week it should all be finished for your inspection, so keep checking back!

Urban Myths; Chain letters; Illegal Aliens recieving Social Security benefits

Ever get one? Here's a link to the truth behind the chain letter.


http://www.snopes.com/politics/immigration/socialsecurity.asp

Article of Note

Motley Fool
Tax Cheats Are Out to Get You
Tuesday February 6, 9:40 am ET
By Dayana Yochim

Itching to get your due from Uncle Sam? There are plenty of folks -- legit and otherwise -- who will happily help you get a faster or bigger refund. My advice? Don't fall for any of the come-ons, no matter how tempting they sound.

The best-case scenario: You'll pay triple-digit interest rates to borrow your own money for a few weeks. Worst-case: You'll share a jail cell with the con who promised to sweet-talk the IRS on your behalf.

Loathsome but legal

The most common tax-time pitch is the "instant refund," which gives you access to your refund money to tide you over until the IRS sends the official check. In 2004 (the most recent stats available), one in 10 taxpayers got a short-term refund anticipation loan (RAL), according to the Consumer Federation of America and the National Consumer Law Center.Although RALs are offered by legit businesses, the loan terms rival those of the neighborhood loan shark. Small fees ($30 here, $59 there) add up. On the average refund this year ($2,150), forking over $100 to cover loan costs puts your effective APR at 178%. (No, that's not a typo.) Add in admin fees and you're looking at a 235% APR. (Again, not a typo.)

The hidden fees and misleading marketing of RALs have gotten two tax-prep giants in trouble with the law. A few years ago, H&R Block found itself staring down the business end of a class action lawsuit for neglecting to reveal e-filing, loan document preparation, and administrative fees that could triple the cost of a customer's loan. Just last month, Jackson Hewitt agreed to pay $4 million in consumer restitution for similar abuses. (FYI: Both companies still peddle these products, though probably with more frank fee disclosure.)

Need speed?If you really can't wait for your refund check, consider e-filing your tax return. (The average fee for electronic filing is $23, according to the National Society of Accountants.) It's interest-free and fast -- boasting a turnaround time of three weeks or less. If you prefer the hard-copy filing, you can shave off several days of waiting by having your refund electronically deposited into your bank account.

Scams, shenanigans, frauds, and fiendsDon't put your guard down after you dodge the RAL rigmarole. The cons are out in full force, too. Typical ploys falsely promise to reduce or altogether eliminate your tax bill. (See also: "I've got some valuable swamp land in Florida I'm willing to part with for a song.") The "zero wages" and the mysterious "form 843 tax abatement" schemes, for example, encourage filers to falsify information on legitimate IRS forms in the hopes that a blizzard of paperwork will distract the Feds.Other scams encourage taxpayers to illegally hide income in an offshore bank or brokerage or move money into a tax-exempt supporting organization or a donor-advised fund while still maintaining control over the money. (Both no-nos.)

Also beware of phishing scams where ne'er-do-wells pose as IRS agents or other legitimate financial institutions (notifying filers of an audit or outstanding refund) to get taxpayers to reveal personal financial information. Click "delete" ASAP. The IRS doesn't email. Anyone. Ever.
If headaches, fines, prison, and steep penalties are your idea of fun, then go ahead and sign on the shady dotted line. If you do fall prey to any of these scams or suspect tax fraud, report it to the IRS via Form 3949-A. Here are some tips on staying on the right side of the law with Uncle Sam.

Mailbox mayhemAnd, finally, this entry comes from the "just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you" file. Christmas for fraudsters starts in January. That's when information-rich tax-related documents begin to snake through the postal system. According to CNET, about 8% of identity theft cases are linked to mailbox breaches.
Keep a watch on lock-pickers by keeping a running list of everyone who pays you -- employer, banks, brokerages, etc. (Here's a simple way to organize your tax paperwork.) Check off the names as soon as you receive a copy of what they filed to the IRS. Track down docs that are missing in action by mid-February by contacting the original source.

Dayana Yochim honed her street smarts on the mean streets of her childhood stomping grounds in Lawrence, Kan. She teaches financial offense and defense with the Motley Fool Green Light service (check out the free 30-day trial right now), which includes hands-on advice about making every dollar a worthwhile investment. Wax on. Wax off

Something else that's Funny

INSTALLING HUSBAND 1.0

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly in the
flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend
5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable
programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0. and Golf Clubs 4.1.Conversation 8.0 no
longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried
running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter the command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.htm" and try to
download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But
remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the
background, that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are
unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory
and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Hot
Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

Something to Cheer me up

Eternal embrace? Couple still hugging 5,000 years on
Tue Feb 6, 1:28 PM ET

Call it the eternal embrace.

Archaeologists in Italy have discovered a couple buried 5,000 to 6,000 years ago, hugging each other.

"It's an extraordinary case," said Elena Menotti, who led the team on their dig near the northern city of Mantova.

"There has not been a double burial found in the Neolithic period, much less two people hugging -- and they really are hugging."

Menotti said she believed the two, almost certainly a man and a woman although that needs to be confirmed, died young because their teeth were mostly intact and not worn down.

"I must say that when we discovered it, we all became very excited. I've been doing this job for 25 years. I've done digs at Pompeii, all the famous sites," she told Reuters.

"But I've never been so moved because this is the discovery of something special."

A laboratory will now try to determine the couple's age at the time of death and how long they had been buried.

Pissed and Frustrated

You'd think I'd have atleast one good day, but no, somehow the Gods have decided that's not for me.

So yesterday wasn't too bad, I survived work, managed to get there on time. 2 more days until Mike and my refund. So, going home, I decided to stop at turkey hill to pick up some iced tea. Nothing big, 2 minutes, I'm in and out.. I also decided to empty the trash in my car. So distracted, I didn't notice until after I've gotten back in the car that my keys are missing.


It took me 40 minutes to figure out I'd thrown it in the garbage and the assistance of a very nice employee to pick through it. Meanwhile. I'm literally one block away from the daycare.

I call Chuck.

BIG MISTAKE.

I'm nicely told that 'I can't help you, I'm busy with my friends and we're watching a movie'. Amid snickers and screaming at me how stupid I am.

Not like I'm humiliated enough. Not like I'm freaking out because I'm late picking up OUR kids and the daycare is closing soon. Sure, let's set our priorities to SODA and a MOVIE.

I'm so sick of doing this all the time. Sure he's there occassionally and handing me money, but WTF? I don't even get to 'sit at home with my friends' because I have none to go to. And if I did, they have to come to my house because I'm too busy not having a babysitter to even think of going. My mother can't watch the kids, Chuck may offer but ask him, go ahead. Guarantee the day I need him I'm given a curfew. He offered to watch the kids when Mike comes down, but I know better.

Meanwhile I'm stuck trying to find my keys I threw away because I'm tired and not thinking straight. My back is killing me, my teeth are rotting out, my job is in jeopardy because of all the time I'VE taken off for my kids. Do you think Chuck has attendance warnings?? Meanwhile I get things told to me like 'If you need money let me know." Oh sure..

SCREW THE MONEY I WANT A WEEK OFF! Like he get's, like everyone else gets. I love my kids but at some point I WILL THROW A FIT. So If I'm a bitch or abrupt, OH FREAKIN WELL!!

Money & Mike

3 1/2 more days until both my income tax check and Mike comes in. On the same day, probably at the same time. I hope he doesn't show up at 8 in the morning when all I have are eye crusties and pajama's to greet him with. Let alone my house is wrecked............ eh.......... I'll get to it later.

BTW I just met Chuck's new girlfriend. Cute, funny. Chuck thought I would start drama when I visited him to see his new furtniture.

I LOVE THAT GIRL !!

snicker.

Sea Nymph

Light My Fire

found a new author, Gena Showalter. Her books are hot!

Weekend

I had the weekend off plus friday, and I made myself stressed! 4 more days and michael will be visiting me, and I haven't even scratched cleaning my house. I think I got something accomplished and turn back to find it's all dirty again. *sigh* I also lost my wireless pen for like 2 days *cries* I found it in the trash and then stayed up until 3 am drawing this lady up there. Like her? me too.